I didn’t fit in as a kid. Or a teenager. Or an adult. For a long time, I tried to convince others that I was good enough by buying what they thought I should. I maxed credit cards trying to dress in name brand clothes. I thought “being cool” meant having the newest electronics. 

Do you know one of my biggest secrets to adulting? “The Joneses” that everyone is trying so desperately to keep up with are wallowing in debt and are often the most miserable among us. Why? Because demonstrating socio-economic or cultural inferiority means that you always have to try to stay one step ahead of your peers. No matter what you have or achieve, it will never be enough because the bar is constantly being raised.

You aren’t part of the “cool crowd” if you don’t have a car that you’ll spend years paying off (at which point you’ll likely get another and restart the cycle), clothes and furniture that have been put on credit cards and an enormous home, half the rooms of which you probably haven’t seen since last Christmas. 

Can I tell you a secret? I don’t know these mysterious Joneses personally, but I don’t give a flying pig’s tail what they think of my 2007 car, my three year old phone or my average sized rented house. I am ecstatic that I don’t have a car payment, a mortgage or any remaining credit cards or the affiliated debt they come with. 

I used to live my life on the hedonic treadmill of consumerism. Until I realized the alternative to being a consumer: being a creator. Consumers are the ones binging Netflix shows. Creators are the ones writing the scripts. Of course, everyone creates and consumes to various degrees. However, your mindset (and by extension your actions and the way you experience life) are direct reflections of which is more dominant.

There are five important reasons why creators tend to be happier than consumers.

1. Creators find work fulfilling. Consumers hate it. Creators structure their lives around their passions and strengths instead of “settling” or doing what they feel they “have to do” to provide for themselves and/or their families.

2. Creators are typically more mindful, which is one of the key traits of happier people. Consumers spend most of their time looking for their next “fix.”

3. Creators take initiative. Consumers take action only when their hand is forced. Creators change things that no longer work for them. They seek out solutions when they find themselves unsatisfied instead of waiting until they are downright miserable.

4. Creators experience less mental decline. They continue to do what the brain was designed to do: learn and grow. Consumers don’t take sufficient time to challenge their brain or teach it new skills.

5. Creators make the most of their time. Consumers numb their minds with excessive amounts of screen time. To unwind from the stress of the unsatisfying (often downright hated) life they’ve created, they feel like they deserve a break. They spend all their free time numbing themselves to their self-hatred instead of taking action to create a happier life.

Before you feel intimidated, creating doesn’t need to mean writing a screenplay or book, nor does it need to mean painting a museum worthy portrait. Perhaps it’s creating new experiences by going to a new park or city or trying out a new recipe. Maybe it’s learning a few basic words or phrases for that language you’ve always wanted to take up. What if you wrote a silly story with your kids, siblings or children at a local hospital? Do these things sound more fun than scrolling Instagram for the sixth time today, paying $100 a month for a new phone you absolutely don’t need or watching the doom and gloom that the news uses to manipulate us? Being a “recovered” consumer, I can promise you that they are. 

If you need help with focus (or you just want to practice your creativity right this very minute), write your own Haiku. Click here if you need a refresher on how to write these. It can be goofy, deep or somewhere in between. 

happiness and love
are here, there and everywhere
just open your eyes 

(See what I did there?) 😀